Sunday mornings; Coming clean vol.3

Most men fail to impress me.
I want to see your fear, desires, love, pain, everything; 
your life. I promise nothing.
I'm too broken to run, so I'm calm; healing and walking silently.

I know I am strong,
and I see that you are weak.
I kneel to help you up,
to let you rise and shine like you should.
You pick women who serve.
I'm sorry you're all so blind.

I search for reasons to my excistence.
I want to know how, when, why.
Little by little I've become aware,
and I'm no longer scared.
You're all chasing and frantic,
I'm walking silently.

Coming Clean vol.2

She gave you her hand to hold,
she withdrew it cold,
marring your perception,
wounding and blinding you.
It's been so long,
It's been way longer for me,
yet you're still chasing,
stuck in the pain I try to put aside..
I can't tell you I know you,
for I don't know you at all,
those few encounters were brief,
as was the attention you gave,
you said it was true. 
Oh, how wrong of me to believe.
Yet you're still chasing.
Told me you wanted love, in essence,
and I delievered as well as I could.
So it wasn't love you wanted?
But what of holding hands, our bodies..
Of the many things you confessed to me.
Was it the time or the shortness of breath?
Forgive me, I wanted it just as much.
I dive in when the water's deep..
this time, it seems, only skin deep.
I died inside when you told me.

Resurrection is a painful thing

It's easy for you to change loves.
Rolling from one embrace to the next,
do any of them really matter?
And how did I become one..
Thank you for reminding me,
My standards have now doubled.

It's funny to see you all swarming,
for what reason do you choose me?
Just another warm place to hide,
and then proclaim you moral and me..?
Even if I ask, you still choose them.
Security is promised cheap,
just like it's delivered short.
Keep your hands away from my skin,
Unless it's me you're after, not this suit of meat..
Feel free to go through your list,
feel free to choke on forgotten names,
feel free to disappear from my eyes,
for I can't make you stay, won't keep you here.

Every time, I heal.
But the stains on your hands stay.

Coming clean vol.1

We're bodies,
laying under cold sheets at night.
And still we're bodies,
when we cover each other, out of sight.
Your touch on my skin I sense,
but I can't feel.

Stare into my eyes as I pretend to sleep,
that inquisitive look, 
one I've yet to see again.
How has it happened and how can it be undone,
what your brothers have done unto one,
Just let me caress your face.

Can you make it through the gate?
It's been closing for some time,
thought I'd see you here, thought you'd be..
Holding my heart in your grasp, bleeding,
but it's so safe there, I know..
The blood is yours.

One day these sheets won't be cold,
I might come home to an honest smile, I'm told.
Your arms a refuge, the only fortress I'll need.
I may leave my shield by the door,
I may hang my sword above our bed,
All I need from you, you already know.

And when you wake me up at night,
take me upon journeys to places I've never been,
don't be scared to see me cry..
Those tears are shed because of you.
The pain you release me from, help me forget,
help me heal until there's nothing to regret.