Masochism, Encore

Luke Pickett, he sings to my heart.

Disclaimer:
This is not about one specific person, but more about a specific conversation that included fragments of another. My reference to love should not be misunderstood for everlasting marrie-and-kids-ending love, but rather mutual interest, magnetism and affection, that is not limited to time and space, but rather the freedom and privilege to give someone cause for a smile. Security, loyalty and affection. I feel like those are mine to give, and I give them to my friends because unlike my significant others, they provide me with both loyalty and security. The affection is void of ulterior motives.

I lay my head down tonight.
Hopeful that tomorrows are new,
hopeful that I find protection from the dark.
It seems safest on my own,
False truths only come from outside.
I shiver as my warmth leaves..

Cut me in half inbetween,
Have your fill with my lower half,
so that I may escape with the upper.
Of what concern is it to you?
I'm sure I may someday stop to feel,
when the feeling I want is never real.

I greet you as an open book,
a new page, a new look.
There's a chance to overwrite wrongs,
reduce my list of gut wrenching songs.
It hurts me so my heart's turning to dust,
Because I see more than bodies in lust.

If this is what the world has in store,
then why have we got hearts at all,
when there's no love anymore.
May I have my chance to hope,
without knowing the disappointment that'll come?
It lurks behind each welcoming smile..

Fancy the fortune teller,
we could all do a decent job.
All these surprises, I feel sick.
And they aren't surprising in essence,
but I fear the murder of my remaining innocence.
And it was I who trusted you with the knife.